‘I’ve noticed that people who know how to eat are rarely idiots.’*

* Guillaume Apollinaire, Le flâneur des deux rives

Every so often, I eat at The Chef's Table, one of the fancier places onboard. Its fixed menu changes every few days, themed to a particular country or culture, and with four wine pairings. The other night was Norwegian Night, proven by the fact that our captain and his wife were there. The menu was actually called ‘Scandinavian Bistro,’ and consisted of:

Amuse Bouche: Reindeer Consommé

Verdict: Gamey and greasy

First Course: Salmon Déclinaison (translates as ‘adaptation’)

Verdict: Tasty but fussy. The vinaigrette on the cucumber was especially good and doubled as a nasal decongestant

​Granita: Lappland Delight

Verdict: Tasty, tangy, fruity ‘snow cone’ with fussy foamy topping

Main Course: Lamb Får-i-Kål

Verdict: Tasty lamb loin wrapped in cabbage, served atop boneless lamb shank, with a smattering of vegetables and one potato the size of my thumb

Dessert: Cloudberry Soup, Vanilla White Chocolate, Panna Cotta

Verdict: Sweet nothings, though the sesame cookie shaped like Viking horns was tasty and Philip’s unstoppable 300-watt smile is the best!

New friend Jan knows just about everyone, including the Croatian Restaurant Manager, who is in charge of every eating facility onboard. He is a flirt named Gami. That’s pronounced gah-mee, not gay-mee.

After dinner, how could I NOT go to a show called DivaLicious? Two opera singers doing serious singing with comedy mixed in. Marye, they need you to rework their costume choices! #