31-Day Tally

Broken Hip: 1

• Fell onboard ship, spent 5 days in Cuban hospital awaiting evacuation Heart Attack: 1

• Survived and sent home Cases of The Gunk: Countless

• Including yours truly (that’s what the sickbay calls it, The Gunk) Deaths: 3

• One man died in the spa; until there’s an autopsy, cause of death is unknown (or so I was told by my spa lady). His body was removed from the ship yesterday in Nuku Hiva (or so I was told by a passenger who seems in the know*).

• A body had been removed in Nicaragua (Dec. 27) • And one in Guatemala (Dec. 28)

*Said knowledgeable passenger predicts there will be 6-8 deaths before May 5. He is 86 and this is his 65th cruise, his 6th around the world. There’s a woman onboard who has circumnavigated NINE times! Kicked off ship: 2

* Couple having screaming rows in their stateroom. Not within my earshot.

Now don’t everybody tell me I should write a mystery about all this. I assure you, it has already been done! #